Dwonna Know What I Think?”
A social/lifestyle advice and commentary column by guest contributor Dr. Dwonna Naomi Goldstone. Dr. Goldstone is a Professor of English and Coordinator of the African American Studies Minor at Austin Peay State University in Clarksville, Tennessee.
Dear “Dwonna Know What I Think?
I just met a woman who is going through a divorce. She’s really nice, and we get along really well. What do you think?
Should I Stay or Should I Go?
Dear “Should I Stay or Should I Go”:
RUN! Run as quickly as your legs will carry you. A woman—or a man—who is going through a divorce is STILL MARRIED, and that person is probably not emotionally ready to be in another long-term relationship (even if that person tells you that they are).
Listen, you do NOT want to be that woman’s ‘rebound,’ and you do not want to be her transition from “separated” to “now I want to be single, so go away.” I can’t tell you how often I’ve heard this story—she says she wants to be in a relationship even though she’s separated, and shortly after her divorce is final, she then realizes that she just wants to be alone after having been married (even if it’s just for a few years).
Your potential girlfriend needs to spend a year not dating and figuring out what it is she really enjoys and who she is. Tell her that you’ll call her in a year, and if it’s meant to be, you’ll find your way back together.
*Dr. Goldstone lives in Nashville with her four unruly dogs—Satchel Paige, Butterfly McQueen, Charlie Parker, and Lena Horne. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.