Dwonna Know What I Think?”
A social/lifestyle advice and commentary column by guest contributor Dr. Dwonna Naomi Goldstone. Dr. Goldstone is a Professor of English and Coordinator of the African American Studies Minor at Austin Peay State University in Clarksville, Tennessee.
Dear “Dwonna Know What I Think?
I’m a 21-year-old girl, and I’m still a virgin. Am I missing out on anything?
“Like a Virgin”
Dear “Like a Virgin”:
You are wise to save your virginity even if you weren’t really trying to “save” it. Too many young women feel that they must have sex in order to keep their boyfriend or so that their friends won’t think they’re a prude, but most 21-year-old women are too young to be so intimately involved with someone they probably will not marry.
The truth of the matter is that lots of young men your age are simply looking for a “warm place to put it,” and many of them will say anything they can to get you get naked with them. The fact is that it is difficult for many women to separate sex from love, and while you might be having sex with a man because you have “feelings” for him, he might just be having sex with you because you’re around and are willing to put out.
You do not want to risk getting pregnant (no birth control is 100 percent effective), and there are LOTS of sexually-transmitted diseases out there, at least one of which could kill you. Remember that when you have sex with a man that you’re having sex with every person that person has had sex with. So, unless you think you’re missing out on a getting an STD, wait until the right person comes along to “lose” your virginity.
*Dr. Goldstone lives in Nashville with her four unruly dogs—Satchel Paige, Butterfly McQueen, Charlie Parker, and Lena Horne. She can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.